Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Live Draft Blog

Ah yes. Draft day. Time to make predictions based on our poor excuse for expertise. Get ready. There will many picks, many misses, and many drinks... and maybe a few rules.

Let the show begin!

***
Curry: I'm taking Derrick Rose for Chicago. Since Andy Katz just reported it was going to happen.

Lee: Wow. Too bad Chicago didn't wait for us to post the rules for our drinking game before they started picking players. This blog is about to lose any shred of credibility it might have gained over the past seven months... Oh wait, here's the Sterninator.

Curry: I didn't know Atlanta didn't have any picks. Which means they won't be any better next year. Which means they'll be knocked out in seven in round 1 again.

Lee: I'm taking Beasley in the 2 slot to Miami. Who do you have.

Curry: Beasley

Lee: Good. This little game will be so interesting if we keep picking the same players.

Curry: Hey, the Hornets still technically have their pick.

Lee: Whaaaat?

Curry Yeah, we've offered it to them, but apparently we don't have to go through with it if all the players we want are off the board.

Stat Alert: Memphis allowed 100+ points in 63 games

Curry: So, they only played good defense in 19 games? Ouch.

Derrick Rose goes to Chicago

Curry: We both win. Do we both have to drink?

Lee: I don't know. I haven't stopped typing. How was your dinner by the way. Did you enjoy watching me play scribe as much I enjoyed typing your every word?

Lee: Who do you have going third?

Curry: Uh... can I look at a mock draft?

Lee: No. We only have one computer, doofus.

Curry: Please?

Lee: Curry and Lee: 1. Credibility: 0

Curry: Uh... O.J. Mayo? The good Lopez twin.

Lee: Great. let's just wait until Miami picks.

Michael Beasley goes to Miami

Curry: Curry and Lee: 2. Credibility: 0.5

Lee: Mayo to the Timberwolves. Though I wish Seattle could nab him.

Curry: Mayo has to go to the Timberwolves. I actually think the Sonics would be better off grabbing one of the big men.

Lee: Can you even name one of "the big men?"

Curry: Ouch.

O.J. Mayo goes to Minnesota

Curry: HHHHAAAAAA!!!

Lee: We both picked Mayo, doofus.

Lee: Who you got next?

Curry: Kevin Love

Lee: To the Sonics?

Curry: Yeah

Lee: I'm taking Westbrook. By the way, we should both take a drink anytime Bilas makes any type of homoerotic description of a player. If I have to hear how "long" a player is or how well he "penetrates" all night, I'm going to slap everyone from Duke, ever.

Lee: Oh, and Mayo looks cool in glasses.

Curry: I like Richard Jefferson to the Bucks. Good trade. Simmons was doing nothing in Milwaukee and Yi was overrated.

Lee: But he was better than this sausage.

Curry: No he wasn't. He was as impressive as this sausage. I know my commercials.

Lee: But none of players who might go from 5 to 20.

Curry: Shut up.

Russell Westbrook goes to Sea... er... Oklahoma City

Lee: BOO-YA! Sweet. My brother just called to tell me he hates me.

Lee: Lee: 4, Curry: 3, credibility: dropping.

Curry: Memphis is on the clock. I got the good Lopez twin.

Lee: I'm going with Kevin Love. I want Lopez to fall to the Bobcats.

Curry: They could always get Robin. No one would know the difference.

Lee: Credibility: -1

Kevin Love goes to Memphis

Lee: I can't type what Curry just yelled at me. By the way: Lee 5, Curry: 3.

Curry: I think it would be stupid if the Knicks took that Italian guy.

Lee: Well, they can't draft him if they don't know his name.

Curry: Here's to hoping they did their homework as well as I did.

Lee: Who's your pick for the Knicks?

Curry: Wow. Love has to move from LA to Memphis. He's going to get fat.

Lee: Focus. HUUUUUMMMMM. Never let up...

Curry: Brook Lopez

Lee: I'm going with Jerryd Bayless

Curry: In that case, I should pick Bayless.

Danilo Gallinari goes to New York

Curry: I'm pretty sure Knicks fans boo whoever they select.

Lee: Well, that makes us smarter than Donnie Walsh.

Lee: By the way, Bilas just said Danilo will never be a superstar, but he will become a solid contributor. That's how I want to spend my 6th overall pick, on a guy who's ceiling is a step above a role player. Bilas also thinks he can become a Jeter in NY iconography. How can he say these things back to back. He must have the memory of a horse.

Curry: Jerryd Bayless to the Clippers

Lee: Me, too.

Curry: You copy me for the first three picks, then I try to make things interesting and your the one with more points.

Lee: You should have read my prospectus.

Eric Gordon goes to Los Angeles

Curry: That's a good. Plus it means Milwaukee is definitely taking Bayless.

Lee: I think the NY fans are still booing Danilo. Talk about class.

Lee: And yes, I agree that Bayless is heading to Brewtown. Call Kevin. His new lineup will be half-decent after this pick and the Jefferson trade. Maybe he can start rooting for the Bucks instead of the Hornets.

Curry: The center (if Bogut is at the 4) is their only weakness if they nab Bayless.

Lee: But that means they could still grab Brook Lopez. Play a lineup of M. Williams, D. Mason, R. Jefferson, A. Bogut, and B. Lopez. Not terrible.

Curry: I hate the "This is NY, these fans are tough to please" argument... great, we just alienated 9 million possible readers.

Joe Alexander goes to Milwaukee

Lee: Credibility: -5.

Lee: But now Alexander's years of Mandarin practice will go to waste since the Chairman is gone.

Curry: Brook Lopez to the Bobcats

Lee: Ditto.

D.J. Augustin goes to Charlotte

Lee: We are also smarter than MJ. Now the Nets have to grab Lopez... man, Bayless is really slipping.

Curry: Honestly, I'm going Lopez, too. I don't see them grabbing a guard.

Lee: Wouldn't be surprised is they nabbed Darrell Arthur, either.

Brook Lopez goes to New Jersey

Lee: Breaking News: credibility is on the rise.

Curry: Lee: 6, Curry 4.

Lee: I'm thinking Arthur or Rush. Who do you got, Curry?

Curry: Arthur.

Lee: I'll go Rush to make this interesting.

Lee: Andrew thinks that the Cavs are grabbing Robin Lopez to confuse fans as well as the other teams. You know, so they make people play "Who's that awkward, fro-bearing giraffe in the front court? Is it Robin or Anderson?" Oh, and he thinks Bayless is headed to Indiana.

Lee: New lineup for New Jersey: Harris, Carter, Simmons, Yi, Lopez. They should draft a small forward with their next pick.

Jerryd Bayless goes to Indiana

Lee: Damn. Andrew wins... and he doesn't even like the NBA. Darrell Arthur is going to Sac-town.

Curry: Darrell Arthur.

Lee: You are so good at repeating whatever I say.

Jason Thomspon goes to Sacramento

All Parties Involved: WWWOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Lee: Is he even there?

Curry: Uhhhh... way to go? They said his dad's a referee. Maybe they're hoping they can sway the Donaghy contention.

Lee: I just think they're trying to avoid a repeat of the 2002 Western Conference Finals. They do need a few good "company" men on their side.

Curry: Ouch.

Lee: Who do think Portland takes? I got Mario Chalmers. I know they wanted a point guard. Brandon Rush makes sense here, too, though.

Curry: Still thinking.

Lee: Andrew thinks it'll be Brandon Rush.

Curry: Wow. Let's just point out that last year's 13th pick was Julian Wright. This year's 12th was Jason Thompson.

Lee: Suck it, lottery teams.

Curry: Darrell Arthur.

Brandon Rush goes to Portland

Lee: Now they have 2 Brandons who can play the 2. That's almost as confusing as Robin Lopez and Sideshow Bob in Cleveland.

Curry: Wow. Portland is really good. They easily knock off Denver next year.

Lee: Troof.

Lee: Who you got for the Warriors. I got them taking Koufos. Anthony Randolph or Darrell Arthur makes sense here, but I think they'll grab Kosta.

Curry: Anthony Randolph. Come on LSU... god, I'll never say that again.

Anthony Randolph goes to Golden State

Curry: Yeah. Suck it, Darrell Arthur. I should have guessed Brandon Rush last time, so I'd be tied with Lee.

Lee: Lee 6, Curry 5, credibility: who knows, Andrew: better than all of us.

Lee: I'm thinking Donte Green here. It's not a great pick, but who else do you get here? Who you got, Cur?

Curry: I'm not even sure who the top people left are?

Lee: You want to Tyler Hansborough here. Trust me.

Lee: Wait. Darrell Arthur. Defintely.

Curry: Ditto.

Robin Lopez goes to Phoenix

All Parties Involved: HA!

Lee: The hat doesn't fit his fro. It's not a good look for him.

Lee: The 76ers have to draft Arthur. No way he slips past here.

Curry: If he slips past here, I hope he goes undrafted.

Lee: Robin Lopez looks like Carrot Top. No, but seriously. That's too high for him. But then again, he does fit a need, since Amare Stoudemire...

Curry: ...isn't funny.

Lee: I was going to say doesn't play defense.

Curry: Score. Lee 5, Curry 1. Beer Score. Curry 3, Lee 1.

Lee: I should be killing you right now.

Marreese Speights goes to Philly

Curry: You realize I've picked Arthur for the last 5 picks. That's made up, but sure.

Lee: Ok, I want to say that Arthur is heading to...

Curry: ...the NBDL.

Lee: Right... If I pick Arthur again, Toronto won't pick him. Wait. I thought the Pacers had this pick.

Curry: They're picking for Indiana.

All Parties Involved: Darrell Arthur.

Roy Hibbert goes to Indiana

Lee: I quit.

Curry: I like Roy Hibbert. I think he's going to be good in this league.

Lee: Ok, Washington HAS to take Arthur. They say he's the second coming of Jamison. This just makes sense.

Curry: UHHUHUUHHUHH

Curry: DeAndre Jordan. I think we have to pick differently in order to break the curse of Darrell Arthur.

JaVale McGee goes to Washington

Lee: So... that didn't work. I had McGee penciled in for the Jazz.

Curry: I thought I could break the curse.

Lee: Now I'm going to break the curse: Kosta Koufos. Andrew's going with Chalmers.

Curry: Koufos.

Lee: I feel bad for Darrell Arthur. He's too good to be losing this much money. He looks better than Brady Quinn did, though... suck it, Notre Dame.

Curry: I hope Arthur drops to the Hornets.

J.J. Hickson goes to Cleveland

Lee: We suck at this.

Curry: No, we're good at this. The GMs are the ones who aren't any good.

All Parties Involved: DARRELL ARTHUR. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!

Lee: New Jersey is licking their chops right now. If Arthur falls to them, the Brooklyn Nets will win every championship post-2010.

Lee: Andrew thinks the Stern Button is being used to get Arthur to fall to the Celtics.

Alexis Ajinca goes to Charlotte

Lee: Everyone drink. Bilas just said that the Bobcats went for a big, long player.

Lee: Andrew's willing to put money on the next pick being Arthur. I'm on board. Curry?

Curry: I guess.

Lee: Andrew: 9, Lee: 6, Curry: 5. This is same score from 6 picks ago.

Lee: Portland just got ridica-good.

Curry: Yeah, I'm scared.

Lee: Bayless, Roy, Webster, Aldridge. Oden. Holy. Freaking. God.

Curry: By scared, I mean terrified.

Lee: Larry Bird is an idiot. He got crap and Rush for Bayless and Diogu. Awesome.

Ryan Anderson goes to New Jersey

All Parties Involved: WHHHHYYYYYYY?????!!!!!

Curry: Did Arthur admit to being a child molester during his team workouts.

Lee: Andrew's got CDR for this pick (Orlando). I've got them taking Courtney Lee.

Curry: I give up.

Curry: Darrell Arthur.

Courtney Lee goes to Orlando

Lee: NIIICCCCEEEE!

Curry: Kosta to Utah

Lee: Arthur.

Kosta Koufos goes to Utah

Curry: BOOO-YAAA!

Lee: Andrew: 10, Lee: 7, Curry: 6. Wow.

Lee: I'm going to stick with the prospectus for this next one. Seattle takes Serge Ibaka.

Curry: Darrell Arthur. And that's Andrew's pick as well.

Serge Ibaka goes to Seattle

Lee: WHOOOOOAAAA! YES, BABY!

Curry: That sucks.

Lee: Andrew: 10, Lee: 8, Curry: 6. By the way, I know I've said this before, but Darrell Arthur cannot slip past this pick.

Lee: Andrew, "Yeah, give me DeAndre Jordan so I can cry for a long time."

Curry: I want to give Darrell Arthur a hug. And I am also picking him for this pick.

Nicolas Batum goes to Houston

Lee: Well then... for the love of all things decent! I guess I'm going Ante Tomic since we all know San Antonio won't draft Americans.

Lee: Holy crap! We're probably going to keep our pick. We get either Darrell Arthur or CDR! Wow!

Lee: Oh wait, Arthur has an undisclosed kidney condition. Bummer.

Lee: Andrew votes for CDR. Damn Spurs... ruining my life at every possible turn.

Curry: Darrell Arthur to the Spurs. And Andrew switches to Arthur.

George Hill goes to San Antonio

Lee: There are no words. And Curry is presently ranting about how insane this school is...

Curry: ...oh, but he has 3% body fat. Awesome.

Lee: I'm picking CDR for us. So does Andrew.

Curry: I want CDR.

Lee Andrew says Curry has to pick differently than us for this to work.

Curry: I don't care, I want CDR! I hope that they didn't go through with the Portland trade yet.

Lee: Andrew, "I have picked Darrell Arthur 9 times."

Lee: Wait, that trade to Portland is going through pending league approval? This is confusing.

Darrell Arthur goes to New Orleans... or Portland... or who knows

Lee: Well, that sucks. We just got the steal of the draft so that we could trade him for some cash. Awesome, Jeff Bower. Awesome.

Lee: Donte Green for the Griz... got to be.

Curry: CDR.

Lee: I like CDR for Detroit.

Donte Green goes to Memphis

Lee: Andrew: 12, Lee: 9, Curry: 6. Andrew officially wins.

Lee: No way CDR doesn't go to Detroit.

Curry: Ditto.

D.J. White goes to Detroit

Lee: I quit. When even Joe Dumars doesn't know what to do...

Curry: I don't care any more. I will now sleep through the second round.

Lee: I'm going... CDR? They need a 2... I guess he can do that. Now way they take Jordan. I don't think projects interest them.

Curry: CDR? And I hope I wake up tomorrow morning to see that the Hornets got to keep their draft pick. In the meantime, Lee wins. Well, technically Andrew wins. Next year, I will win... second place. Good night.

Lee: Peace, Curry.

J.R. Giddens goes to Boston

Lee: Why not?

***
Ok, we're going to sit out the second round. I've been typing for 2 hours and I'm hungry. Thanks for stopping by. We'll post a follow up to this epic event after the dust settles. Curry's even going to post a "What we should be doing in the off-season" post. Little something to look forward to...

Just so we're clear: Andrew: 12, Lee: 9, Curry: 6. Terrible. Those GMs, I mean.

Peace out.

23 comments:

andrewd said...

trade the pick for conley, gay and the 5 for the 2. period. they are retarded for not doing this.

andrewd said...

Miami is retarded, but they took the right player.

andrewd said...

the only way this isnt retard is if they can pull the trade later. however beasley, marion and wade is solid for the east... got to like Miami with Chicago to be 4-6 range in the east

andrewd said...

lopez for three

andrewd said...

damn i was wrong, ok so seattle will prob take.... um oklahoma city and brook lopez

MikeC said...

What a shitshow this could become.

What are you drinking? It had better be stiff. I hope you're wrong on every pick.

andrewd said...

kevin love memphis

andrewd said...

andrew 7, lee, 6 curry 4

through 12

portland:

rush

andrewd said...

who did curry pick? andrew 8, lee 6, curry 4 or 5?

Anthony Randolph

andrewd said...

a: 9, l:6, c:5

phx: donte green

andrewd said...

stu scott is not funny.

andrewd said...

but hes smarter than phoenix

andrewd said...

so um still 9, 6, 5 (a, l, c)

76s Darrell Arthur

andrewd said...

so no one will move up as we all have arthur to the 76s

andrewd said...

ouch tell all the nba teams to stop it.

pacers: love white centers and black pfs.... debate: arthur or koufos. i go arthur

chalmers if its tor for some reason.

andrewd said...

arthur to wash

andrewd said...

arthur to cavs

andrewd said...

darrell a to cha

andrewd said...

arthur to the nets

andrewd said...

http://redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=2aa7ece1-6e65-44d7-9e34-60dc236e80ec

Bryan T. Cole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bryan T. Cole said...

Credibility?

1) "Curry: I'm taking Derrick Rose for Miami. Since Andy Katz just reported it was going to happen." And since, you know, CHICAGO has the top pick.
2) It's "Brook", not "Brooke".

H. Lee Domingue said...

Ice Cole, just so you know, I claim responsibility for Curry sending Rose to Miami. I was the designated typer all night, so there were quite a few missteps. I have gone through and edited all of the mistakes I could find (including the repeated misspellings of th good Lopez twin's first name). Hometown Hornets thanks you for your patience.